First, happy 32nd anniversary, Mom & Dad. I just looked at the date.
Two nights ago, AJ and I went for our hospital tour. The labor & delivery room and the postpartum room were fine. We saw babies in the nursery. Cute. But they showed the first-time parents a video.
I was doing okay through early labor and even active labor. But when we saw a baby come out of a tiny Asian woman, I cried. I was the only person in the room crying. It woke AJ up, even. I changed my mind. I do not want to give birth. Here's the dilemma, though: I don't want to be pregnant anymore, either.
I remember seeing videos like that in health class, but it wasn't nearly as personal then.
Karin easily convinced me after that that an epidural is the way to go, and natural childbirth is for hippies. My issue, though, is that no one can heal from a wound that big and disgusting. Even typing it right now about puts me in tears. And I don't want your sympathy, I only want solutions. Get him out without ripping me to shreds, please.
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13 comments:
well...um...if you do tear to shreds I am living proof that you can and will survive. I will only share the ugly details with you AFTER it happens (which we hope it won't).
Google around about different pushing positions. Laying flat on your back in bed is just begging for a tear. If you are able to squat or be a little bit inclined (like sitting up) you are much less likely to rip apart.
Hang in there :)
Yeah Heather, have them sit you up in the bed, completely upright. I had to do that with Adam because he was having problems but nice gravity thing too.
I tried a birthing ball. It actually helped relieve some of the pressure and it made us laugh because I was having a hard time balancing my huge pregnant body on the aerobic type ball. I ended up having c-sections. Now, I don't have anything to compare it to, but I didn't think they were too bad. So, if all else fails, you could try that! Good luck, it's not as scary as it looks.
You don't totally go back to normal from a huge wound like that, but pretty near so. It just takes a while-- about 6 months with my first and 2-3 months with the others. Try not to laugh in your doctors face when at your 6 week postpartum he/she declares you healed and ready to resume regular "activities".
Maybe we can get a shrink ray on ebay and shrink it down and then make it big again once you have given birth.
Or, the doctor can knock you out and quietly extract the baby and you can wake up later after the baby is cleaned up and pretty. AJ can record it so you won't have to worry about missing anything. They have sedation dentistry here, why not sedation birthistry.
Maybe you will be like The Incredible Hulk and once the process starts you will turn green and find you have an unknown strength that makes you immune to the pain and gives you the ability to push out many babies in a single push. Just try not to rip off your hospital gown.
Clearly I have never given birth.
Hey Em. We haven't emailed in awhile, so I thought I'd check your blog for your pregnancy status. My advice on this particular issue - drugs. Epideral all the way, and with that the actual labor/delivery was lots easier than I expected. And thankfully, you don't get to see all the gross stuff that goes on down there.
As far as after, it hurts like no other down there. I can't lie to you. Only things that really helped me - ibuprophin (spelling?) and sitz baths. And not watching anything super funny on tv, because laughing really hurt. They gave me these other super pain killers too but they made me feel all weird and out of it (more so than I already was), so I didn't take them.
Anyway, you can SO do it. It's such an emotional trip, and the tiny little baby in your arms will be so precious.
I hope that all goes well!
I like Phil's suggestions. I have none offer. Only that I will gladly bring you as much Chipotle as you want when it's all over.
ann! isn't that the truth! I say- LAUGH in your Dr.'s face, because at 6 weeks you will rather have a root canal than resume "activities". Why a root canal? because, you get to be ASLEEP alone, in a chair with people expecting your to sleep and do nothing. that's why!
So far I think the shrink ray sounds best. I appreciate all the suggestions and comments, though.
Em - I have absolutely no experience with a pregnancy ... I was lucky enough to have someone else do that part for me when I became a mom. And, it's a little too late for you to try that suggestion :). I do know how hard it was being a new mom. I can't imagine doing it all and feeling like crap too. I can relate to the root canal comment ... at least then you could get some uninterupted sleep :). But, as hard as it is, there is nothing more rewarding or better than being the mom to a wonderful boy! I promise it will all be worth it! It's harder than any job I've ever had, pays a lot less, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!! But yes, wouldn't it be nice if babies didn't enter the world through another body? Then we could just go down to Baby-Mart, pick up a few and that would be that. But, no pain (emotional or physical) no gain. So guess that wasn't in the plan. When we get to Heaven, let's both have a chat with HF about that whole birthing idea in order to get babies / become a mom! Surely he could have come up with another method! :)
When I feel like I missed something by not giving birth to my son, my sister tells me it's like pooping a watermelon then getting run over by a truck. Yikes! That doesn't sound fun!! But, then again, your son will have your father's eyes, and your husband's nose, and your laugh or some other combination of traits of all the people you love the most ... so it might be worth it to see those things? But yes, it would be nice if you could skip the pain part :).
You can do it!! Hugs & love!
-Bonnie
I promise he'll be worth every tear.
Dear A.J. and Emily
You will survive, not only the birth but what comes after, all the stages of growth. Childbirth is the one event that one forgets when your little one arrives. That is why so many of us have more than one of the little darlings. Have a blessing at the right time and Heavenly Father will be there for you. love Lorrie O
I can only second what Shauni said. If that is your path, say yes to the morphene. Actually, I don't even think they asked, just put it in the little iv.
The trouble I had: pushy nurses who help you think you are doing it "wrong" after Jr is born. BBR will do it just fine and so will you so tell the bossy night nurse to give you some space and maybe even ask her to watch Jr while you get some sleep.
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